So here’s the pitch:

Near the peak of Mt. McKinley there is this family of anthropomorphic polar bears whose favorite meals are dumbass unprepared mountain climbers. However, Kid McDenaliBear gets indigestion from one of the closeted gay Conservative Rick Santorum fanboy white supremacist hiking enthusiast trying to climb the mountain, and the story is about him (the bear, not the crazy) on his way to recovery as he tries to get the Santorum out his asshole.

That’s like, five Oscars, a Grammy, and a pair of Pulitzers right there guys.